I sometimes tend to be an open book and write what is on my heart without regard to who will read it or how it will be interpreted. A significant figure in my life once angrily told me that by being open about the things I was going through, I was "casting pearls before swine." He said that I had family and close friends I should confide in and that not everyone needed to know the details. I have since learned the importance of censoring myself to an extent, but love it or hate it, this is me.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Fraud
Sometimes I feel like a fraud. Like any day people will start to realize that I'm not who they think I am. I wonder when my bosses will realize I'm not the competent, intelligent person they think I am. Or that the man in my life will open his eyes and realize what a silly, overweight, needy, scared, weak girl I am instead if the strong, beautiful, independent, confident woman he thinks I am. Or that my friends will realize what a selfish, boring person I am instead if the fun-loving, caring, trustworthy friend they see.
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