Long Distance

I REALLY need to get internet service at home. And soon, I'll be forced to, I think.

So, for those who don't know, my boyfriend of just about a year was offered a promotion that will take him to Moses Lake. While Moses Lake is only an hour and a half away, I'm still really struggling with this. I go from being okay with it to being angry (irrational, I know), to just being downright sad. I did a pretty damn good job of keeping my walls up for soooo long. And the moment I let it down and allow myself to fall in love, he moves away. I've always said I will NEVER even consider a long distance relationship again. I have a hard enough time trusting someone when I see them every day. But that's old news, I guess. At any rate, I spent last Saturday house hunting with him and the place sucks big hairy elephant balls. No really, it does! I was expecting a fairly cute, small town but there is nothing cute about it. It's a HOLE! And the crime rate is surprisingly high. I keep hearing horror stories about gang activity, drive by shootings and break ins from the new 911 supervisor we hired from there. Okay, that is something I would expect in, say, Phoenix or even Tacoma, but a town of under 19,000? WTF?! Ugh.

I'm really just trying to stay calm and balanced and not get overly emotional about anything. Deep down I know that what is meant to be, will be. And normally I take comfort in that. Right now, however, I am having a hard time letting go. We'll do the long distance thing for a while and continue to take it one day at a time. He'll probably be moving right before Thanksgiving and I'll probably be spending every weekend there with him, as long as weather doesn't keep me home. Which means I'll have to find a church in Moses Lake... But I'll stop myself before I ramble too much.

Simply put, I'm scared.