I was playing poker last night with a bunch of guys that I'm just now getting to know a little and somehow, the topic of Christianity came up. Stories were shared about our experiences with Christians (I think 2 of us at the table are believers) and how so many people are turned off by Christians and their judgmental attitudes and hypocrisy. One of the guys (the other believer) mentioned that he believed the saying that "the single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians."
It reminded me of something that happened to me a couple weeks ago. I was at an Irish Pub, standing outside on the patio talking to people. I did not have a beer in hand, was not intoxicated (though I had consumed probably 2 beers so far that evening). I was just standing there talking and laughing with a group of people. A gentleman who was walking down the street approached the patio and started talking to a guy he knew. Then he saw me and for some reason, pointed at me and began telling me that I was in sin, that I have power and that I was leading others astray. I stopped, questioned his statements and asked how he could make a judgment like that of someone he didn't know and who didn't even have a drink in hand. I told him that I was a Christian and that I love God and although I will never profess perfection, I try to do the best I can. He said that by even being in a bar, I was a hypocrite and by drinking anything with alcohol, I was in sin. My first instinct was to argue with him that Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine and that he was often judged for the people he hung out with and loved - common people, sinners. Others were standing around listening and I have to say, my spirit was grieved. This interaction between two totally different people, both proclaiming to be Christians, both with completely different view points and approaches had to be confusing. I ended up biting my tongue, choosing not to argue and walking away.
The thing is, nothing I can *do* will be enough. It is only by the grace of God that I am saved. But that being said, I also know that because most people have a certain perspective of Christians and what they should and shouldn't do, I am probably often viewed as a fake. I don't live by the "don't drink, smoke or chew or go with the boys who do" philosophy. I do drink. Quite a few of the people that I consider friends and many people who I hang out with are not believers. It is not uncommon to find me in a bar - playing poker, listening to karaoke, hanging out with friends, having a good time.
There is a balance though. The rest of the quote that the guy at the poker table referenced is: "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." ~Brennan Manning
I am nowhere near perfect. I struggle with sin daily. Some days I lose the battle. I am a hypocrite. Not intentionally - I believe one way and would love to be strong enough to ALWAYS live a perfect life and rise above, but my actions do not always back up my words. I am not perfect. I will fail. I will disappoint you and God. I will not always live up to the standards that I have set for myself or that others hold me to. I will fall. But I guarantee you this - I will get up again and again and again and keep trying, keep perservering, keep learning until I reach the finish line.
Until then, I hope that my heart speaks louder than my words or actions. I hope that my lifestyle reflects LOVE first and foremost. I hope that in my humanity, I am not causing someone to stumble or turn away from God and Christianity. I hope I'm not a cause of atheism.
No comments:
Post a Comment