Confidence

Everyone has their own opinion on what is sexy. I think confidence is always sexy. There is just something about being comfortable in your own skin that draws people to you. Last night, a friend's band was playing at Pig Out In The Park so I sat on the ground to listen and people watch while enjoying the warmth of the early evening. As I was sitting there, I noticed a gal walk by. She was heavy set, wearing jeans and a little tank top with the skinny straps hanging off her shoulders, a sports bra underneath. So, this totally wasn't my idea of sexy style, but she had this little strut going on and a sassy little sway of the hips. You could tell she felt good about herself. A few minutes later, I noticed an older woman dancing by herself, totally comfortable dancing alone. Then there was a homeless man playing the air drums with such vigor. He couldn't contain himself so he dropped his back pack and just started dancin'! All around these people, there were others watching them, rolling their eyes, making disgusted faces, pointing and laughing. It's as if they didn't even notice though. They just kept doing their thing. Kudos to them.

It's such a stark contrast to most people I see. There are so many people who are constantly fidgeting, adjusting their clothing, nervously twirling their hair, shoulders hunched, head down. People who are never the first to laugh at a joke or step out on the dance floor or order their food - they follow along to make sure that what they are about to do is met with the approval of their peers. Then there are those with a false air of confidence. They are loud, trendy and stylish. They hold their head up high and strut around like they think they are all that and more. Or they use humor to deflect attention to things they don't want people to see. But if you look closely, you can see something in their eyes. It's this thin and transparent wall trying to hide so many fears and doubts. They try to appear confident and sure, maybe many people are fooled into believing they are, but look close enough and you'll see they are far from it.

I think it's safe to say that we all have things about ourselves that we don't like. We all have flaws and insecurities. But on those days when we are able to accept ourselves for all that we are - the good and the bad - and love ourselves without depending on anyone else to validate us; when we are confident in WHO we are instead of what we have, what we look like or what we can offer - those are the days we are most beautiful and sexy.

My wish for each of you today is that you are able to accept and LOVE yourself. Just for today, forget about that crooked nose or those extra 20 lbs you can't seem to shed or the way you snort when you laugh. Forget about the zits, the moles, the scars, the wrinkles... Forget about your thrift store clothes or trying to make sure every last wild hair is sprayed into place. Forget about all your insecurities. If the music moves you - let it *move* you! Get out there and DANCE! If you find joy or humor in something, throw your head back and LAUGH - loud and long - don't hold it in. If you've got a song in your heart, SING it. Don't hold back. And lastly, if you see something in someone else that you like, tell them. Don't worry about how they will take your compliment or if they'll question your motives - just tell them. Sometimes it's those small, seemingly insignificant words of genuine kindness or sincere affirmation that make someone's day. If you think a guy is attractive, tell him. If a girl has a great smile, let her know. And watch how your words transform their face.