Too Many

Maybe I really am too picky... Or maybe they guy I'm looking for simply doesn't exist... Or maybe he does, but just not in Spokane.

I know I shouldn't complain. I've been getting a lot of male attention lately. I haven't ever really had a problem meeting them, but for so long, they were all married, homeless, or old enough to be my dad. Then for a while they were all married, homeless, old or lived out of state. Lately, they are single/divorced, gainfully employed, between the ages of 30 and 40 and local. Some are attractive and fit, others - not so much. Couple of them have kids. All of them lately seem very nice, intelligent, talented. A couple of them are looking for something long term and serious and see me filling that role in their lives. One of them seems to like me a lot, but due to a particularly painful divorce and a lot of issues he's had to overcome and the fact that he has young children, he has no interest in a serious relationship. He intends to stay single/emotionally unattached - but is still very open about his attraction to me.

Last night I went to a wedding with a friend from Juneau. She has family in Liberty Lake and her nephew was getting married so she brought me along as her "hot date." I had a great time at the reception and met a lot of great people, including a handful of single men. Vicki was trying to hook me up with her brother, then this other guy she knew, then the groom came over and told me that another guy wanted to meet me and a few others approached me too. Vicki's sister made the comment that I could have any guy I wanted... If she only knew.

Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered by the attention and the compliments, but I don't want any of those men. They all lack the one thing that is the most important to me - a relationship with God. I've always felt that was the one thing I don't want to compromise on. I've dated a few guys who were not Christians and it really does make a big difference. I don't judge a guy for not being "religious" or for having different beliefs than me, but if I'm going to eventually fall in love with and marry someone - it's important that we are on the same page about the important things in our lives. It's difficult to not give up hope that this man exists and will eventually be brought into my life. It's hard not to just compromise and be with a man who is attractive, intelligent, successful, wonderful and who cares deeply about me. I wish that were enough for me. Lord knows these men have women standing in line waiting for a chance - most single women in this town would do anything for the attention of a couple of these men.

I'm getting a lot of pressure or "advice" from friends who tell me to just go for it and have fun. Stop over-thinking and just go with the flow. It doesn't mean I have to marry the guy, but just date him for a while. This is another concept I can't really grasp. I've always felt that dating is ultimately looking for your mate... If I already know someone doesn't have the most important quality I want in a man, why bother going down that road at all? I'm just confused and frustrated and tired of being alone. I do have high standards, but I feel myself weakening - ready to just give up and settle... not good.